just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Operation Purity has been aborted
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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