You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
