There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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