just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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