Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
