No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
