He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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