i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
