i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
