i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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