How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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