Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
