I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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