The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
