We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
