I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
