so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
