If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
