i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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