I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
