yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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