I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
