and you said cock pushups were impossible
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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