yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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