I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
