We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize