she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
