I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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