I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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