So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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