this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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