I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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