It's Friday. Sex?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
