I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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