i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
