I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
