I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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