What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
