apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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