It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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