Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She swung at the pinata with crutches
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
