Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
