haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
