Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I need a burrito and a hug.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just blew my weed a kiss
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
