The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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