YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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