I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
