There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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