hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
