So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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