marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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