end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
