not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
