I think i peed on brittanys purse
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
