youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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