Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
