Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize