I'm really into asian looking animals
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
