is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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