Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
